Junie Lailatun Aziziah; emotional night

assalamualaikum, tonight's post is going to be a bit emotional to me , we're talking about mama. She's my inspiration, she's my everything and she'll always be in my heart , tak kesah la dia dah takde dekat dunia ni dah pon .

since i was young, jarang dengar cerita pasal mama sebab family members tanak cerita and if ada yang cerita , all the same typical stuff about her being super nice and blah blah blah . she died when i was 2+ years old, muda lagi. sumpah, kalau tak de gambar, memang tak ingat muka mama macam mana . lately selalu teringat dekat mama and selalu rasa macam nak mama dekat sini, nak peluk mama, nak kata dekat mama, "mama, saf penat dah. saf tak larat," nak sangat, tapi who am i to kid kan, mana boleh, mama's no longer with me. yes, i miss her a lot and yes i do feel like crying every night because i miss her sangat sangat . saf nak sangat mama dekat sini, nak mama comfort saf time time saf tengah sedih, takde mood and i want mama to stand up for me, saf tau mama akan buat macam tu if she's with me . she's that kind of person. she's awesome and i love mama to death , serious !

at times, jealous dengar orang orang sembang pasal their mums and all the things their mums do to them, jaga dorang time dorang demam, pergi shopping dengan their mums, i so envy them sometimes. sometimes bila dengar orang cerita pasal what their mums did to them yang buat dorg sayang mak dorang, rasa terharu . i keep telling people, jaga mak baik baik while dia still ada . jangan pernah lawan cakap, jangan pernah tinggikan suara dekat mak . if mama ada lagi dengan saf kan, saf janji takkan lawan cakap mama, takkan tinggi suara dekat mama , i'll appreciate her to death sebab she's all i need sebenarnya .

mama have always wanted me to be a doctor tapi sayang, my passion is not for medical la i think. i'm thinking of doing law, macam mama . nak jadi macam mama . though saf tau, i wont be as awesome as she was, as nice as she was . in the world, i dont really know who believes in me , sebab i think everyone rasa macam i'm nothing , maybe just maybe i'm another piece of sampah to them . wallahualam . nauzubillah . but i know mama believed in me since i came out of this world, sometimes hilang rasa faith tu since mama is not here to remind me yang she believes in me, itu yang kadang-kadang i have emotional breakdowns tu , but i try to remind myself sendiri la yang tak kesah la if no one believes in me, one person i know yang believed in me, MAMA . she believed in me from the start lagi, unlike others yang choose to judge before their knew me. mama chose to have faith in me. mama is THAT awesome :')

I miss you - Miley Cyrus

this song always reminds me of mama . bila dengar je lagu ni , mula la meleleh air mata dekat pipi . non-stop pulak tu x) *memang emotional kadang-kadang sorry x) right this moment pon i'm writing in tears . PERGH . blurr ohhh . #sabaqjela.

anyways thats not the ONLY reason i'm crying right now, sekarang tengah ada HUGE FIGHT . bapak sedih . sumpah . takpe la . i know who i am . so its okay...

toodles. nak pi cari tisu sat, nak pi lap aiq mata nihhh x) BUBYE !